Testimony from Terrie


From terrie109 on:

Sathya Sai Baba Discussion Club, message 2470 and  2477:


Date: 8/6/01 7:55 p.m.

To Kyra, LoveandJyoti,

I don't think there is anything miraculous about sb's ability to manipulate energy and influence devotees. It's just that he knows how to do this and we don't. If we knew enough about energy and matter, it wouldn't seem miraculous at all. We could all learn to use our minds to manipulate and project energy if we had the proper instructions. I expect that it's an exact science.

I also experienced that terrific shot of energy that sb is capable of projecting into the minds of devotees. In a 1997 visit to the ashram I had the "good fortune" to get a front row seat. I was feeling very devoted, and no doubt putting out lots of energy of my own. As sb walked past, he turned suddenly and stared straight into my eyes. I felt a "wonderful" shock of "love" in my brain and felt that I had been forever blessed by the gaze of god himself. Who needed an interviw? Not me! sb had given me an "innerview."

It was only later that I realized that the projection of energy from sb wasn't love. It was a surge of power energy (shakti) that had the effect of an electric shock treatment on my mind. I experienced the same sense of confusion that happens after a medical shock treatment. But I thought I was happy.

For years I had tried to mediate deeply for long periods of time, but could only manage a half hour of attempted concentration while a devotee.

After ceasing to be a devotee, I found it possible to meditate for much longer periods of time and to attain much greater calmness. Somehow sb manages to capture a part of our brain, and we then live in his space until we escape. This sounds supersititions, but that's the way it seemed to me. I really believe that he places himself in front of the spiritual light within us and creates a block to that light. He has no power over us once we turn away from him.

I also kept picking up sexual energy during darshan. But it took the form in my mind of a small black pyramid. I wonder now if this is the form in which sb stores the energy (including sexual energy) he draws from devotees.

Message 2477

Date: 8/6/01 11:59 p.m.

Ladies All!!

Ladies, we have some real female energy going here! May the Goddess in all of us live long and prosper!! That Goddess is real, and we see her in her manifestations of women teachers, who guide each of us to go within. sb doesn't have a chance against Her, and I think he knows that.

I hope to see some words from Sparrow. I know she's had similar experiences to those we've all posted here.

I've copied this entire discussion into my mail program, and for the time being will send it to Sunrise, which has a "from the boards" discussion section. Maybe Hari and Afshin will also make a place on their site for the wisdom of the ladies.

Love to all,


Hari, Terrie is my real name, but I have two last names..., one for financial affairs (married name) and the other for everything else, including my professional writing. If you get to the place where you want articles from us, I'll send my full name and a longer article. Kyra has her own page on Sunrise. I expect it will be added to from the recent messages.


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Re: He reflects back Sorry, I'm not available terrie109
2/1/02 5:07 pm
Star_Light, I hope you won't mind that we will be archiving your posts on Sunrise re: your experiences of being a devotee.

I made three trips to the ashram. The first trip some years ago was hot and uncomfortable, and although I had been a devotee for many years before that (from reading sai books), I didn't sense any vibrations. I couldn't understand why devotees chased sai's car, followed him around the ashram, etc. I was very happy to get home, but the sai presence followed me home, whereas at the ashram it had been absent.

The second trip a few years ago felt very spiritual and uplifting. Totally different than the first trip.

But the third trip 1n 1999 was as you described: the vibrations were gone, everything was really different and rather depressing. Talk was everywhere about the sai shakti being gone. Long term residents and visitors alike complained constantly.

Since then, after taking a lot of time to investigate the allegations, I have become an ex-devotee. I have no doubt there were real "miracles" and lots of shakti (drawing power), but was it spiritual?

Miracles are nothing but manifestations of natural laws that we don't understand. Many times astral entitites assist in these miracles. And anyone who has been around a psychically powerful person has felt the draw of "love."

Love? In retrospect, I think it was magnetic power, but not necessarily spiritual love. Look at the draw some of our entertainers have, such as JLo. People go crazy, and believe they are personally loved by the one they adore.

Anyhow, when we sincerely inquire within ourselves, we are given an answer of truth about the one who calls himself Avatar.
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Re: He reflects back Sorry, I'm not available terrie109
2/1/02 8:03 pm
Star_Light said:

"His photo that had once meant so much to me, and my means of praying to him; now has become dead and lifeless. Its intimate and personal joy has fanished."

That was exactly my experience with the photos. I had really beautiful photos, one of them the full figure holding the rose. Then one day....I don't remember when....I looked at those photos and realized, "There are no vibrations there anymore. Nothing there. No energy. Why?"

Taking it a bit further, God cannot lose his energy, and neither can a true devotee/saint of God such as Ramana Maharshi or Paramahansa Yogananda. Then I had to ask, WHO is this sai? I didn't know, but if he's a person who suddenly has no vibrations, he has either died (not possible since the body is still there in Puttaparthi) or the source of his energy is gone.

Then what was the source of the magnetic energy so many of us felt? It's almost like there was a contract for sai energy for a certain number of years, and then the contract ran out. The key to the identity of SB is knowing the source of that lost energy. And that loss came just before the first of the international expose articles and the public allegations re: sexual abuse. So where is the truth? The SB before the expose or the sai that is now being revealed?

Then the final question: If SB is not God or a devotee of God/Divine Mother, then WHO have we been giving our devotion to INSTEAD of to God? A chilling question.
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