To anyone who may be concerned


About the sexual abuse involving youths and children that have been reported about Sai Baba

A document from the point of view of an ex-follower of Sai Baba;

About how Sai Baba sexually molesting young men became known in Sweden, and consequences thereof;

About having been one of those who, in complete faith to Sai Baba´s pure divinity, involved profoundly in the Sathya Sai organisation and in the Education in Human Values program and about being blind to signs about the sexual abuse that is now known.

For thirteen years I was a devoted follower of the Indian self-proclaimed "Avatar" (Divine Incarnation, God in human form) Sri Sathya Sai Baba, living in an Ashram, Prasanthi Nilayam in the village Puttaparthi in Andra Pradesh district in South India.

In July 1999 a Swedish young man in a state of shock and despair confided to me very detailed about how Sai Baba had sexually molested him. When investigating this situation further I found out that not only young men but also boys, from India as well as other countries around the world, were victims of a shocking sexual molesting scenario of Sai Baba. Also that this has regularly, and for most followers secretly, been going on for 30 years or more. Even more shocking was the discovery that many officers within the Sai organisation as well as elderly devotees, who had and have close association with Sai Baba, knew about this scenario. They kept the secret and proclaim it to be an act of blessing to the "victims", because considering that Sai Baba is the pure Divine Incarnation who cannot do anything wrong and thus is doing well whatever he is doing. In this case obviously even what for ordinary men illegal.

Education in Human Values (EHV), conferences.

There is a very nice booklet from a Conference, in Geneva, Switzerland, on 9 June 1995 for international civil servants, diplomats and others, where also speakers from the United Nation participated, with excellent inspiring speeches. The booklet, published by the Sathya Sai Association Switzerland, is titled:


Expert Views inspired by Sri Sathya Sai.

Mr Indulal Shah, the international chairman of the Sri Sathya Sai Organisation, in his welcome speech at this conference said about UNESCO and the Educational in Human Values program:

Last months the Director-General of UNESCO, Mr Federico Mayor, met Sathya Sai Baba. Commenting on Sri Sathya Sai’s educational programmes, he said: "I wish the Sri Sathya Sai Institute every success in implementing its noble programme on human values, and look forward to establishing close links between the Institute and UNESCO with a view to furthering the cause of peace through education."

UNESCO is a very dignified authority to most people. The Sathya Sai organisation and the EHV-program gain a lot of altitude if connected to UNESCO.

Amongst the speakers at the Geneva conference was also Mr Art-Ong Jumsai, Member of Parliament in Thailand, scientist, university lecturer and specialist in Education in Human Values in Thailand. He also in his country is the initiator of, and as far as I know also the chairman of, a Sathya Sai boarding school based on the EHV-program in Thailand. Mr Jumsai is the President of ISSE (an International Sathya Sai Education institute), mentioned in the following pre-release about "UNESCO withdraws from conference" in September 2000.

Media Advisory


Paris, September 15 - UNESCO has decided it will no longer sponsor nor take part in a conference it had been due to co-organize with the Institute of Sathya Sai Education (ISSE, Thailand) and The Flinders University Institute of International Education (Australia), in Puttaparthi, India, from September 25 to 29. The decision means UNESCO is no longer associated in any way – through sponsorship, organization or participation of any kind – with the conference on Strengthening Values Education: Innovative Approaches to Teacher Education for Peace and International Understanding.

UNESCO’s withdrawal was prompted by several factors. Certain decisions were taken by the ISSE without consultation, such as plans to hold some of the sessions at the Ashram of the Sathya Sai movement in Puttaparthi, and the inclusion of some speakers in the conference programme without their previous consent. Furthermore, the Organization is deeply concerned about widely-reported allegations of sexual abuse involving youths and children that have been levelled at the leader of the movement in question, Sathya Sai Baba. Whilst it is not for UNESCO to pronounce itself in this regard, the Organization restates its firm moral and practical commitment to combating the sexual exploitation of children, in application of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which requires States to protect children from all forms of sexual exploitation and violence.


It was a very important and respectful step taken by UNESCO; to withdraw from its agreed co-arrangement as well as participation in "the conference on Strengthening Values Education" in Puttaparthi September 25-29 2000, and to officially state: "Furthermore, the Organization is deeply concerned about widely-reported allegations of sexual abuse involving youths and children that have been levelled at the leader of the movement in question, Sathya Sai Baba".

There is an indescribable situation for unbelievable many boys and young men. But also for their parents who, in their deep concern of bringing their young ones to the "Heart" of Human Values, innocently brought them into a not imaginable danger of being sexually molested.

Gimle School (often referred to by others as the Swedish Sathya Sai school)

In Sweden 1994, out from my initiative, a foundation was established, Gimle Stiftelsen (Gimle Trust). This was done in co-operation with a man, in the Swedish society very well respected, who also was a dedicated follower of Sai Baba since about 20 years back. The aim of this foundation was to contribute to a "non-violent-society"; by the means of; into the Swedish legislated school-curriculum within a "Free School", as well as into other social projects, integrate and further develop the program; Education in Human Values (EHV), founded by Sri Sathya Sai Baba in India.

A "Free School" in Sweden is a public school ran by a private legal body, in this case the Gimle Trust, with the legal permission from government. A Free School is financed by, and on the probation of, the governmental school-authorities.

In August 1995, Gimle Trust, with me as the "prime motor", with the legal permission from the Swedish governmental school-authorities, manifested in Lödöse (a small village in Lilla Edet community 40 km north from Gothenburg) a Free School, Gimle skolan (Gimle School), with pupils from class 1-7, to expand to class 1-9 within the two next coming years, which also happened. We started with 20 pupils and after three years there were around 60.

Mr Jumsai from Thailand, was one of the inspiring supporters of the Gimle School. In late 1995, a few months after the school-start, on his way to Stockholm, where he was invited to a conference for giving lectures about the EHV program, he visited the Gimle School and gave talks to the teachers and children as well as parents. I had listened to his lectures since many years, and met him personally. I found in him an exceptional inspiring exemplary friend of humanity, worthy of imitation.

Gimle Trust in 1998 was by the Governmental school-authorities granted the legal permission to extend also with a "gymnasium" (the Swedish term of the upper secondary school), which meant the three more years before University level. Gimle School was meant to serve as a model-school, combined with a national EHV training-centre for teachers. The "gymnasium" never came into manifestation.

Gimle School closed down in August 1999 as a result of the molesting situation, as the EHV program was officially associated with Sai Baba as the founder. Teachers and parents after being informed about the allegations of sexual abuse wanted of course not in any way to be associated with Sai Baba. It was a shocking tragedy to all involved, school-personnel, parents and children and also of course the supportive politicians and other respected people in the local community where the school was located.

One parent told me that one of the teachers in Gimle School (still a devotee to Sai Baba) tried to explain to her that Sai Baba was the Avatar (God in human form) and therefor it was not a sexual molesting but a divine action to help the "kundalini" (inner spiritual energy very much described in Indian spiritual scriptures) that was being done, which we "normal people" could not understand. The parent (who was not a Sai Baba devotee, just a mother of two children in Gimle School and furthermore not familiar with kundalini) was very confused and shocked.

Teachers and parents, when heard about the molesting cases, withdrew directly from the school with the result that it suddenly financially collapsed. One week before the school should start after the summer-holidays 1999 it was officially declared that the school had come to an end.

Later a journalist at the local newspaper, who is German, told me that he knew of that Sai Baba had sexual intimacy with boys. He had contacts with journalists as well as lawyers in many countries, he said, who had informed him. He told for ex. about two French boys who had been murdered on their way from Puttaparthi, who had came to know about the sexual abuse, and that it was a court-case in France and that some boys from Holland having been victims and thereafter committed suicide. He seemed to be more informed than I was at that time.

As I was for many years a lecturer about Sai Baba and about the Education in Human Values program I know I have inspired many many people, who I do not know personally, to visit Sai Baba’s ashrams in India. I brought myself my own two sons and as well other boys from the Gimle School to this "holy place". Fortunately only one of my sons, out of the boys I brought there, became a victim. Compared to many other victims, we now know about, very little though happened as he was "only" kissed on his mouth, which he direct without compromising protested and shocked was by Sai Baba sent out from the interview-room, where he had been invited to meet alone with his so "beloved Divine Master and guru". (See further in this scripture for more details).

As a result of my deep concern about the younger generation, and the need of giving attention to the human urge of morality and dignity, I found myself being in a situation to have been the initiator of a public school in Sweden that was using an international Human Values program; which had as it’s first priority the good examples of the adults - leaders and personnel - a program that was also recognised by UNESCO, but which had a founder that sexually molested little boys and young men.

My own background

I am a Swedish woman born 1946. I am a teacher in music, philosophy and meditation. I am also a mother of one daughter, born 1970, and two sons, born 1974 and 1982. They all have been in alternative schools or profile-classes in Sweden within the concepts of Montessori- and Waldorf-pedagogic and in music-class. I was always very active as a parent during my own children’s years at schools. Some years before the Gimle School, another dedicated mother and I were behind the manifestation of a Waldorf profile-class at a community-school in a neighbour community to where I was living.

I have always been interested and engaged in philosophies and tools of alternative pedagogic. Already in my own years as a child and as a teenager, in school and in society, I felt the lack of inspiring teachers and adults, both for individual and social development, and lack of tools for the protection of the alcoholic and drug influence. As a young adult and a mother in the 70th I became very aware of that the modern, western "drug-culture-influence" was an extreme growing danger to the younger generation.

It is a deep routed concern in me, as an adult, to offer the younger generation alternatives. Alternatives that are exciting enough, at the same time as giving tools and social space for a meaningful life-development-process. This means to me a life spontaneously connected to the inner creative and intuitive ethical urge, within a social co-operational social situation that inspires, welcomes and seriously supports such urges.

I found that the most important way, to be able to offer such alternatives and influences, is to make sure that my own life serves as a living example. But also by introducing to the young ones many different living examples worthy of imitation, from history as well as today alive. Important also are communication, exchange and co-operation within generations and between generations, within concepts that do not fade away as ideas only. Concepts having the power of reaching and inspiring the human "spirit of empathy" besides the "spirit of intellect". And not, as so easily happens to children in the material-oriented western society life-stile, that the naturally by human birth inborn "creative living spirit" is being overpowered by intellectual control.

I have also been a serious devoted seeker of the meaning with human life and how to develop and manifest spirituality in daily life. Already as four years old I had my first profound mystical experience. Later as eight another and again when about twelve. These experiences held me in a way always outside "ordinary" life. Even though I tried to live an ordinary life, and also to some extend managed in the outer, and being always a very active person full of initiative, my inner urges for living another kind of life than was offered in the society where I was born and lived "haunted" me all the time. I found the spirit of society very dead. Here and there I met people similar to myself, but never in a way that made me feel at home. In books though I found "soul-sisters and brothers.

When I was "happily married" to a very good man and our little daughter was two years old and we had a little house and… inner "exploded" in an urge to really find out what life is for….and pay serious attention to my own inner, no matter what seemed to be expected from my society.

This was in 1972. I was 26 years old. My "inner woke up" to my inner truth. The truth of the potential of human life became so clear that I could never more otherwise than follow my inner guiding and confront and go through any obstacle.

As it is know to many people, when we listen to our inner seriously enough, life offers us situations that takes us further and further on the route where our inner is the guide, not the outer. Not necessarily without hardships, rather the opposite, but one’s life becomes a real life instead of a mere living.

So it was in my life. I could write a lot about all experiences and consequences of being true to my inner (and I have a lot in my drawers!), but here I just want to give some background of my spiritual urge and journey. Through books I was inspired by so many different souls from different cultures, religions and philosophies. I did a lot of meditation and deep inner research of my own awareness and potential. I had since long engaged myself very devoted in projects, besides my involvement with schools, that were aimed at contributing to a spiritual life quality in society, when Sai Baba entered my life.

Sai Baba

Miraculously shortly after a deep inner prayer of really finding someone "now living" to share my inner "seeing" and deep concern about a more spiritualised society, I was from a friend given a book "The Supremacy of God", written by a devotee to Sai Baba. I felt my "inner received an "answer " from Heaven! After that I borrowed some more books with Sai Baba’s lectures. Everything responded to my prayer and my inner. This was in August 1986.

In January 1987 I together with my old mother (at that time 72 years old) travelled, for the first time in our lives to India, and visited Sai Baba’s ashrams in Whitefield and in Puttaparthi. It was a tremendous positive and miraculous experience for both of us. I bought and read lots of books about Sai Baba’s teaching and was completely positive. It was as a dream coming true to find a "Teacher of wisdom", besides being an inspiring teacher of love to anyone from any culture or religion. He also in his teaching was giving the outmost attention to children, youth and schools in a way that was in harmony with my own inner.

We were granted an "interview" (when a group or individuals are invited to a personal meeting with Sai Baba) where we saw the "materialisations" of "holy ash" as well as rings and other jewellery. These materialisations did not actually interest me, but of course it did contribute to Sai Baba’s own claim that he is a Divine Incarnation. I however was very inspired by all the different people from all-different religions and cultures that came together in Sai Baba’s Ashram, thanks to the inspiration from him and his message.

In the ashram there was a drug-free environment attracting people, of matured age and of all professions, from the highest academically level to every kind of occupation in society, and from all different religions and cultures, from all different countries all over the world. There were schools and Universities recognised by the Indian government.

I had never urged for a guru. But the atmosphere in the ashram, and Sai Baba personally and through his teachings, validated the to me most important qualities in myself and my life - my deep interest in philosophy, spirituality and in the human qualities that unites human beings from different religions and cultures and my concern about the younger generation - in a way that no one had done before. This resulted in that I myself gave my own inner life and visions full validation and acceptance. Sai Baba and his teaching did fill a vacuum that had been, as a result of being brought up in a so extremely materialistic society as Sweden, and in the superficial western culture. For the first time in my life I felt that I was not too much spiritually orientated to fit in. I felt at home with Sai Baba.

I had many inner really "miraculous" experiences while staying in the ashram, as well as before and after, which I related to Sai Baba. I got the feeling that he was my very best friend on earth. I decided that he would be my guru, as he seemed to be an Incarnation of a life-quality that corresponded to my heart and urge in life. All my positive experiences made me surrender to the acceptance that he was really the Divine Incarnation, as he said himself to be, which millions of devotees from all over the planet came to experience and many many books were written about.

I was though uncomfortable in my inner with the situation that he highlighted himself so extremely. But I definitely saw him as "an incarnation of pure unselfish divine love". If he was the one he said himself to be, who was I to know what to say or how to expose his nature and mission on earth? I was thankful for the grace of being one of the ones on this planet that found him, and even got personal assess to him - the interview - a privilege that so many people were waiting in years to get.

Back in Sweden in February 1997, after one-month stay in India I engaged myself in the Sai organisation and was introduced to the EHV- training-program to become an EHV teacher. There was already in August the same year a European EHV-seminar for some days, arranged in Denmark. The lecturers where some of the most dedicated EHV-instructors within the international Sathya Sai organisation, as for ex. Mr Art-Ong Jumsai from Thailand and the international chairman Mr. Indulal Shah.

In Dec 1988 I was back in India to spend the Christmas and new-year in Sai Baba’s ashram, Prasanthi Nilayam in Puttaparthi. This time again with my old mother, but also with my three children (at those time 17, 14 and 6 years). We all had a fantastic one-month retreat together in the ashram and again an interview with Sai Baba. During this one-month stay all the family felt that we in this ashram found a second home. What we were missing in our own culture and society full of materialistic focus, stress and competition, we found here. We got nutrition for the souls, a Christmas focused on the message of Christ and not all the gifts, with lots of singing of Christmas songs from different countries, choir and instrumental ensembles and as well a children’s Christmas-play. All this offered all of us something to participate in that we loved; a place where all generations in our family were united, together with families and individuals of all ages from all over the world, in an atmosphere we as human beings were deeply urging for. It was a dream above dreams.

Back in Sweden I became even more engaged in the Sai-organisation. The Scandinavian co-ordinator Thorbjörn Meyer (now the co-ordinator of the Northern Europe) was the initiator and as well the chairman of a training institute within the Sathya Sai organisation; European Sathya Sai Education (ESSE) institute (located in Copenhagen in Denmark). In the years to come I was in the ESSE institute trained as an EHV-teacher as well as a teacher-trainer. Together with another Swedish female dedicated EHV-teacher I started in 1990 a pilot- project of giving EHV-lessons on Saturdays to a group of public children and parents. This project went on successfully for about two years. During that time I was elected the co-ordinator of the West-coast Sai Centre where I initiated activities for families. The EHV-piloting group was incorporated in these activities of the Sai-organisation, where

we had EHV-lessons for children of "Sai-devoted" parents and we also had young adults and parent’s groups. The West-coast Sai Centre became a light and inspiration to the rest of the Swedish Sai organisation. V lessons for Hhh

In 1991 I was elected the national president/co-ordinator. I attended the same year an international conference in Prasanthi Nilayam for "office bearers" from overseas countries. I became familiar with the international leaders as well as co-ordinators of regions and countries worldwide. I learned to know many engaged "office bearers" from all over the world. And again I with my family and a Swedish group had a wonderful Christmas in the ashram.

As the national co-ordinator within the Sai-organisation I initiated a one-week family retreat during summer, where we had EHV-classes from children in different ages and teenagers to adults. I was also one of the lecturers that held introduction for newcomers, as well as in EHV-lectures in training-courses. I became a popular lecturer about Sai Baba and his teachings and a meditation-supervisor, within the Sai organisation as well as being invited to other groups in society interested in Sai Baba.

My whole engagement within the Sai organisation was of course because I honestly felt deeply inspired by Sai Baba and his teachings. The EHV-program was to me an ingenious way to a better school and a better society, everywhere.

The school-project

During all these years I was engaged in my two son’s school situations. My daughter was now old enough to take care of herself (when young she was in a private Montessori school). My eldest son was in a music school (where I for some time activated a parents group to come together and play instruments and sing to get closer to our young ones, and participate with our music at meetings with them when they shared theirs, which was very fruitful for the contact amongst the parents and very appreciated by the children). My younger son was in the Waldorf class, where I was very engaged, and later on one at another school. I was though not satisfied with their school-situations even if better than "ordinary".

All this about my own engagement to make clear that there is in my life a profound "grass-root" background to what later happened.

1993 I had come to a point in my life where I felt I should initiate a public school in Sweden, where meditation and philosophy were part of the curriculum and where the human creative abilities were nurtured in every day schoolwork. There had come a new Swedish curriculum, and new laws about free-schools that made me see an opening to put all my experience into a Swedish public school- project that could serve as one alternative model.

I had a group of enthusiastic people around me, having the same vision, who did want to participate and co-operate in the manifestation of a school. I also had the support from community leaders where I was living. I was actually already asked by some politicians to start a school in my own community, as they knew about the Waldorf-school-project, I had been one of those behinds, in a nearby community.

I had also had mediation classes for about 15 young people from a musical-project, which my daughter had carried through for unemployed youth, as well as for other groups and individuals, in the community where I lived, during a six months period which had been very successful. This contributed to that mediation had become a quite familiar subject in this community, which otherwise could be a "suspicious" subject in a Swedish school!

In Nov.Dec. 93 – Jan.94 I was again visiting Sai Baba’s ashram Prasanthi Nilayam and participated in an international EHV-conference. Even this time my old mother and three children followed and we spent another incredibly wonderful Christmas celebration and new-year celebration in the ashram.

During the EHV conference I told Thorbjörn Meyer from the ESSE institute about my school idea. We discussed the possibility of, from the very start integrate the full EHV program, as it would fit perfectly into the new Swedish curriculum, and to my vision of a school, as this program was a potential key to everything that I wanted in a school. Mr Meyer discussed it with the International Chairman, Mr Indulal Shah.

I was given the permission from the International Chairman, as well as offered the support by the ESSE institute, to become a so-called "adopted school". This meant that the school would be legally independent, but regarding training of teachers in EHV we would get the needed training support from the ESSE-institute, free of charge. It also meant that there were no financial responsibilities of any kind towards the school project, from either the ESSE institute or any other part of the Sai organisation. (We could though receive donations from private individuals if voluntarily offered). As I was myself a trained EHV "teacher-trainer" from the ESSE institute, and knew the teacher-trainers in this institute since many years, this seemed a very good offer.

I though decided that only if I could have a personal talk with Sai Baba, and he himself agreed, I would go into such a project, as to use the EHV program would always be connected with the name of Sai Baba, the founder of the program. I understood that public fear, out of prejudices and suspiciousness of "dangerous gurus" and "sects" etc., could be part of the establishment-process. I also knew that Sai Baba very often said "no" to people’s ideas to start schools or other projects related to the EHV- program, as to do it needed not only a vision and enthusiasm, but also capacity and experience, and of course a functioning environment. Very often Sai Baba used to say "wait wait" to such ideas.

I knew about the Sathya Say school-project in South Africa, where the married couple who had started and were running it, had to wait for nine years (the lady told me) before they received a "yes, go ahead" from Sai Baba. When they finally did, it became a fantastic successful school-project. I came to know very much about the development and results in this school, as the Swedish female EHV teacher with whom I had started the children’s and parent’s EHV lessons in 1990, became a teacher in the African Sathya Sai School, where she stayed for some years. She later became a teacher in the Gimle School in Sweden.

Our Swedish group was called for an interview with Sai Baba. I asked if I should start a school in Sweden with the EHV-program integrated into the Swedish curriculum. Sai Baba said: "yes yes, start the school! He repeated it many times. He also said that he would talk to me separately and that he would give all details. My understanding was that I could talk to him if I needed about the integration of the EHV-program. I was some days later called for a private interview with my family-members, where he confirmed his "yes".

I now was in direct contact with the founder of the EHV-program, who was positively supporting this idea, and I had the established international Sathya Sai-organisation as well as the ESSE institute behind me. During this stay Sai Baba gave a lot of attention to my sons, especially the elder one, and to me both during darshans and during the interviews. (Darshan is a tradition when all people coming to see Sai Baba are sitting in the compound of the temple, and he is walking around so that everyone can see and sometimes talk to him, and when groups of people or individuals can by Sai Baba be invited for personal interviews) I seemed to be very fortunate.

Back in Sweden, Gimle Trust became established and the school-project just step by step progressed. To all so far involved I introduced the ides of implementing/integrating the EHV-program into the Swedish curriculum in this free-school project. I was very open about that Sai Baba was the founder of the EHV-program, to all instances, in all written information as well as verbally at introduction meetings. Not at all as a missionary of Sai Baba as the school as such had not the focus on Sai Baba. The focus was on universal Human Values and the EHV program that gave tools to implement them into daily life, within our own culture as well as being inspired from human values from other cultures.

It was a precondition from the Sathya Sai organisation, and also Sai Baba himself said so in a lecture I heard, to always use the name of Sai Baba, or Sathya Sai, in dealing with the EHV-program. To me this was as natural as to use the names Maria Montessori and Rudolf Steiner in using their pedagogic programs. I also wanted to be sure that no one later should say that we had been hiding the source of the EHV program in a purpose of "secretly draw people to Sai Baba", or that we were a secret sect etc.

In "adopted" public schools, integrating the EHV-program, there was no special focus at Sai Baba as a person more than that he was the founder and a good example in living human values, as Jesus and as Mother Theresa and as Martin Luther King etc. But in schools within the legal body of the Sai organisation (as in India) there was a focus on Sai Baba as God incarnated. But Gimle Trust was its own legal body.

I was fully convinced that the EHV program and thus also Sai Baba would be more and more recognised all over the world in the years to come. This I also told to some local politicians and assured them that they would one day be vary proud of having in their community the first school in Sweden and one of the first in the western countries integrating the EHV program.

Many supporters of this school-project joined. We went though through a lot of intensive hardships by being controversial in using a program initiated by an Indian "holy man". But we also got fantastic support, both financially and morally from many individuals in Sweden and other countries around the world. Gimle School did start in August 1995.

During the years of preparation, establishment and development of this school (1994-99) I visited Sai Baba many times. My family-members also did, and so did many others who were "devoted" to Sai Baba and who supported the school-project. Even some parents and their children did. Most of the children and their families in the Gimle School had no relation to or special interest in Sai Baba, but there were those that came to the school just because they were "devotees" to or interested, and some became interested in Sai Baba.

We received financial donations from devotees from Sweden and also other countries, as the financial support from government was too limited in the beginning when there were few pupils, to also finance the establishment costs. Without these donations we would not have survived.

There came visitors to Gimle School from all Sweden and from countries around the world. We became one model of a school that integrated, so deep wanted and so much needed, Human Values by the means of an international program. Teachers, children as well as parents were taught meditation. Creativity was a core in the education. Singing and music-theatre engaged all the children both as storywriters, composers, actors and setting up plays with messages that awakened the Human Values, in themselves and also the audience. They even visited other schools in Sweden and performed their "musicals".

There were other schools and classes in other countries in other cultures working with the same EHV-program, but each school was it’s own unique model, due to the local culture and teacher’s capacity etc.

We, the committed enthusiasts within the Gimle Trust, also developed a scenario based on the EHV-program, called "Values in the World" ("Värden i Världen" in Swedish), for adults; teachers, parents or other interested, to be used for seminars, and other projects. We had some very successful pilot-seminars. While the school expanded, also more and more people came that did want to participate to piloting and further establish the Values in the World- scenario.

One collective-living/community of the "voluntary enthusiasts", that came to support the school-project, naturally came into existence. The members paid rent to live there, which contributed to the school budget. Many also gave private donations, and worked as volunteers. This community(around 30 people from age 0-80) became a kind of "research-place" for how to "live the human values" in daily life all the time and developing the EHV-program into the Values in the World scenario. This community became a kind of retreat-place for many sai-devotees, and even others. Another community was later also being established by people coming from other places out of interest in the school and in the Values in the World scenario.

Gimle School became more and more recognised by the local Community as we did offer an alternative school of a very creative and non-violent spirit. We developed the program for "gymnasium" (class 10,11,12) and obtained 1998 the legal permission to start, as before described.

It might sound as everything was just flying in happiness, but of course there was a tremendous engagement and work, both from paid teachers and volunteers. Of course we also ran into problems, sometimes extremely tough. But our endeavours inspired and benefited a lot of children, their parents as well as others. More and more school-personnel from other places cam were e for study-visits. For myself and the other visionaries and EHV-enthusiasts, the Gimle School project (including the Values in the World project) was a gift to our society that we wanted to nurture as a beautiful garden with flowers of all kinds, and with a potential to bridge through human values between generations as well as cultures, religions and countries. Gimle School also received financial support from the Swedish school-authorities for four teachers to visit the Sathya Sai schools in Africa and Thailand, which also happened in late 1997.

In summer1998 a new legal body, by the hired teachers and the headmistress in Gimle School, was established. The legal responsibility for the school was turned over to this new legal body for the Gimle Trust to concentrate on the development of the Values in the World scenario, including EHV-seminars, outside the Sai organisation, also on a national level, for public teachers and others non sai-devotees in society. An activity that with successful results started during the autumn 98 and spring 99.

Sai Baba molesting boys and young men

There was one situation regarding Sai Baba that was not easy to deal with. A young man who was part of the inner team to develop the EHV-profile in Gimle School and who was one of the co-creators of the Values in the World scenario, in a private interview with Sai Baba had experienced something that he after a long time told. What had happened was that Sai Baba had "kissed him on his mouth", and asked him to take his pants off and "oiled him with some oil close to or on his genitals". A thought of "ugly old man" (there is a special wording in Swedish "ful gubbe" that translated can be described so) came to the young man’s mind, but as it "couldn’t possibly be so" he surrendered as he already had accepted Sai Baba as a "Divine incarnation" and his Master and spiritual teacher (guru). Sai Baba told him not to tell to anyone what happened. (After a year or so he did anyway).

The Young man had prior to this incident prayed for help to control his passionate sexuality, which he felt, trapped him in an impossible relationship. He felt that he got that help out of this "ceremony" from Sai Baba. But he expressed, when he told the story, confusion about that Sai Baba had kissed him on his mouth. None of us who later listened to his story, could out from our experiences with Sai Baba, even get an idea that it was anything else but some healing or sexual or kundalini transformation behind this happening.

This young man is not living in Sweden since summer 1997 when after, with his wife and child, having attended the Youth conference in Prasanthi Nilayam they did not come back to Sweden. He is still a devotee of Sai Baba as far as I know, and does not want to have any contact with his former friends from the team around the school-project in Sweden.

Our local priest from the Christian Protestant church, a very fundamentalistic priest attacked very heavily our school-project during the preparation period in 1994, because of Sai Baba and of being a potential dangerous Hindu sect. He showed me a document he had received from Germany, telling that Sai Baba was a homosexual and having sex with boys, which I saw as black mailing from the Christian Church. But I directly could understand that if such a situation, as described above, was told about, it of course could be taken for a homosexual approach done by Sai Baba from people not knowing or having met him. (This I of course never talked about with the priest). Sai Baba never talked about himself being either heterosexual or homosexual but as I had understood being in a state above any sexual desires.

I talked about this to the co-ordinator for the Northern Europe region within the Sai-organisation, an elderly German man (over 70) with the name Bernhard Gruber. He told me that he had heard about this with young men before and that some of the officers within the Sai-organisation had many years ago asked an American devotee (for all Sai Baba devotees very well known, but since some years not more in life), Dr. Hislop to ask Sai Baba about this activity. So he did and Sai Baba had answered "it is only for healing".

When I heard this I found it very difficult that "healing" in such a way needed to happen. And I understood it as even Mr Gruber felt so. Today I have come to believe that he might have been familiar with and referred to such serious molesting cases as I today have come to know, rather than the case with the Swedish young man that I referred to.

Mr Gruber was always very loving to me and supportive in a trusting way, not controlling. I could always talk to him regarding difficulties while having the responsibility as the national chairman; he would always listen with an open heart. I was a guest in his and his wife’s home when I brought up the above described subject. I became surprised that he knew anything about it at all, and that it had been talked about amongst the officers of the organisation. But I had no slightest doubts whatsoever that it was otherwise than that Sai Baba had a spiritual motive of healing/transformation. I also thought it was a support for men to control their sexuality to align it with their inner moral and spiritual lives, especially as it was my observation that "obsessed" sexual processes often happens and creates enormous sufferings and disturbs a righteous living these days. I was not even taking into consideration that Sai Baba could have anything but a healing motive.

I would never in my life have been able to imagine that a man like Berhard Gruber and also his wife would accept, ignore or justify such sexual abuse that is known to me today if they had known. I hope for their sake they did not know.

Another Swedish man, to me very trustworthy and very devoted to Sai Baba since about 20 years back, who was involved in the school-project, at this time close to 50 years old, told me when I talked to him about this situation, that it happened to him when he was young (around 30) that Sai Baba oiled his genitals as well. The man told it to be some help for the Kundalini.

Next time I heard a similar story was later, in 1996 with my eldest son, at that time 22 (shortly explained in the beginning of this letter). He got a private interview with Sai Baba. He thought that he should now get the grace of really asking serious spiritual enlightening questions. But Sai Baba started to kiss him on his mouth. My son immediately reacted negatively and asked what he was doing. Sai Baba ended the interview very fast without any spiritual dialogue.

My son was very confused and shocked about this happening, but he had had so much of enlightened feelings and experiences since many years up to this moment, so he had no idea that Sai Baba did so out of any sexual desire. But he wanted to understand what had happened and why and therefor tried to talk about it to many elder experienced men in the ashram, but no one answered him.

He even told the incident to Mr. Jumsai in Thailand, whom he to the outmost respected and trusted, when shortly after having had the experience, visited Mr Jumsai as well as the Sathya Sai School in Thailand, together with his wife, who was born in Thailand, and their little daughter. Mr. Jumsai did not pay any notice to my son’s communication. He just ignored it. Mr. Jumsai was their host for one months stay in Thailand where he cared for them extraordinary, far beyond their expectations, in every other aspect, so it was not that he ignored their presence.

When back home a couple of months after the incident my son told me and also others in our community about it. My son also had an instant feeling of "ugly old man". And he felt an inner protest, and got the feeling of losing his divine inner contact at the moment Sai Baba approached him as described. We were all absolutely sure that Sai Baba meant something spiritually positive which we could not understand, as we all out from other experiences accepted him as a "divine incarnation and our pure guru".

In the summer 1997 at the a youth-conference in Puttaparthi where some of the youth living in our Sai community attended, amongst them my son in law as well as my eldest son. My son told me afterwards that one young man, the son of a very devoted family (since 20 to 30 years I think) from the US, was lucky to get ten private interviews. My son mentioned that he noticed that this young man did not look happy when he came out from the interviews, and was wondering why. We never talked about this anymore besides that I heard him mention this at some other times when talking about Sai Baba and interviews.

In the end of 1999 it was discovered that this young man had been seriously molested since he was 15 until now, 21, without his parents getting to know as Sai Baba threatened the boy not to tell. But suddenly it became too much and the young man told his parents and the shocking situation was exposed. The family of course immediately left their "guru" and their posts and engagements in the Sai organisation and the EHV program. I have had personal contact with this family, before as well as after this situation was unveiled.

My son also told me that something intimate had occurred to another young man from Sweden whom we knew well, but I never talked to him about this until I had understood the molesting situation. This young man was puzzled as my son, and also had the immediate thought of "ugly old man", but opposite to my son has accepted this intimacy as a special blessing. He is still very engaged in the Sai organisation, as Sai Baba for him and his parents is God incarnated. He is still very young but is a Centre co-ordinator/leader in the only Sai Centre that still exists in Sweden.

I myself find is irresponsible of his seniors to let him hold such a post. Especially now when the situation about the sexual abuse allegations are being known. During my time as a national co-ordinator I learned from my seniors that very young members should not be given such responsibilities. Also I have a feeling that as he, because he is accepting the intimacy with Sai Baba, is given such a post to cover up some negativity. But this is just my own reflections in my concern about the young men. I know this young man as he was sometimes a guest in our community and I have visited his family, as well as been to Sai Baba together with them. He is a wonderful young man, very devoted to live a righteous life and so are his parents.

A victim

Now to the story of the Swedish young man mentioned in the beginning of this letter, which became to be a crucial point in my own life and many other Swedish followers of Sai Baba. This story he himself, at that time 21, told me in July 99. (Let us call him X, as he wants to be anonymous):

X was in Sai Baba’s ashram in Puttaparthi during Christmas 98 and January 99. (I was myself present in the ashram in January where I for the first time met X). He had as I remember eight interviews, some before I arrived and some while I was present in the ashram. All the Swedish talked about "the golden boy" who had so many interviews. As I remember, four of his interviews were together with a Swedish group. As there were many Swedish people present, they were in two groups. (When I came with Conny Larsson and a group we became a third group). In the same group as X was also, at that time (and still I think), the national co-ordinator/Chairman of the Swedish Sathya Sai organisation (Jörgen Mölgaard), who is a middle-age medical doctor and researcher. He was in the ashram for some months at that time. Also there for a long stay was a former national Chairman (Ulf Sviberg), he too in the middle age. (I was myself the national Chairman for four years in between these two men).

X told me that in all the interviews in Dec.-Jan. X was called into the inner room with Sai Baba alone. EVERY time Sai Baba was doing something with X’s penis; touching, oiling, rubbing etc and telling X it was for his sexual transformation. Sai Baba told X not to tell anyone. Sai Baba also told him that no one in the group "out there" (in the other room) deserved an interview but got it only because of X, and at some interviews also X’s brother, who was in the ashram for a short time. Only X was alone with Sai Baba in the inner room though.

X felt very uncomfortable with the situation, but also filled up with all energy of getting so much attention and being chosen out of the many. He received a lot of materialised objects, watch, rings, nucleus, japamalas etc. He also was enriched by the atmosphere and the talks and jokes from Sai Baba in the outer interview room. X told me that when all the other Swedish people were telling him how lucky he was to get all these private interviews and obviously thought that X had private spiritual talks with Sai Baba, he couldn’t tell them that these private interviews were nothing to aim for, as it for him created only confusion about what it was for and when it should end. Every time X felt protests from within, and asked Sai Baba what this was for, but Sai Baba told him to surrender as it was for his sexual transformation and that X was very blessed, chosen out of so many who would want to be the ones.

As X at that time could not in any way even think that Sai Baba had a personal interest in a sexual activity, even though X felt inside a protest, he did trust Sai Baba and just wanted to understand the situation.

Sai Baba invited X to come to Kodaikanal in summer for to stay in his private house and also told X to bring his mother. Sai Baba gave X money in rupees and dollars to the amount of about 10.000 Swedish crones (about 1000 Dollars) to finance the ticket to come back to India.

Even though Sai Baba told X not to tell anyone about what happened in the interviews, but as X felt more and more confused about what the "Avatar" was doing in privacy with him, he decided to go and talk to the two elder, since long time devoted and experienced Swedish men, the present national Chairman as well as the former, mentioned above. He felt the inner need to understand what was happening and why. The two Swedish men said they had never heard anything like this, but told the young X that he was very blessed and that it all was a tremendous grace. X told me he that he after this talk was crying.

All this happened in Dec.-Jan- 98,99. I never talked to X personally at that time and I did not in any way imagine what was going on. I was only a Swedish lady out of the many to X, and I respected him to keep his experiences for himself or share with close associated, as I when I myself got much attention from Sai Baba felt I wanted to keep it in silence and digest. Later X told me that he had felt he wanted to talk to me in January, but he never did until July 99.

My friend Conny Larsson though started to talk to X in January. Conny told me that Sai Baba did the same procedure to X as was done to himself many years ago, some kind of oiling of the genitals. This was the first time that Conny told me that this had happened to him. He had told me many years ago, when I first got to know him (1989 I think), that some "secret ceremony" had happened between him and Sai Baba many years ago, which Conny explained was some kind of very special initiation that somehow sealed Conny to Sai Baba and not to have a woman throughout his life, but stay as a monk. I remember that I told Conny that I thought that Sai Baba will change and in future tell him something else, as it to me did not make sense that Sai Baba would seal men to him in this way. Conny never talked to me about this again until now in the ashram in January 1999.

This was similar to the other now around 50, Swedish man that I mentioned earlier in this report. The "oiling procedure", was done to him 15-20years ago as was the case with Conny This man was still an office bearer in the Sai organisation as well as his wife. As I understood they were sure that what Sai Baba had done had with the kundalini-processes to do. Either he or Conny had ever talked to me any negativity about their intimate meetings with Sai Baba. They are all now ex-followers

In June 1999 X was back in the ashram in Puttaparthi. It was summer (in Sweden). Sai Baba had told X to come in summer to Kodaikanal, but Sai Baba was in Brindhavan, Whitefield, in June. X travelled this time with his elder brother, Conny and a group around them. X’s mother had been invited by X to come and had agreed to do so but a couple of weeks later, and for one week stay only. I myself came to the ashram some days after X and Conny and their group, to join some other close friends of mine who also were there, and we created a Swedish group all together. After just a couple of days we had an interview. Sai Baba talked very much, in front of the whole group, about that the mother of X and his brother should come, and that he, Sai Baba, should take very well care of her. X was called in alone to the inner room, so was also another young man, and so was I. X did not tell the group about what happened in this private interview.

X and his brother were quite nervous about their mother arriving, as she was not at all interested in Sai Baba, rather very sceptic. But as X so much wanted her to come, she had decided to do so. X and his brother asked me to support them in making her stay nice for her, as she and I were at the same age. I also was a mother of children in the same age as her sons who had been to Sai Baba. They wanted her to have the most possible good time in the ashram, and they trusted my maturity not to enforce "devotion" on her. I told them it would be vary natural even if they would not have talked to me, to respect her integrity and private process regarding Sai Baba. I used to spontaneously do my best to make it a good experience to be a newcomer in the ashram. I had myself brought many during my years with Sai Baba.

I was away from the ashram for some days visiting a Swedish friend living further south in India. When back I heard that X and his brother had "been granted" another interview, without the group. (Their mother had not yet arrived but would come within some days). Conny told me that in this last interview of the two brothers, Sai Baba had forced himself sexually on X, so that X had had to stop him. Now Conny started to say that Sai Baba had own sexual interest and that he (Conny) himself had experienced this in the early 80th, therefore he knew that X told the truth, he said. I listened, but I could not believe him, as he had never before told this.

Another Swedish man around 50 (let us call him W), became involved in this communication with Conny. W did definitely not believe that it could be so. Conny told him to talk to X, even though X had told Conny in privacy only, as Sai Baba had told X not to tell anyone. So W did, and even if X was confused by Conny having spoken without first asking him, he told his story and W was shocked and in despair by what he got to hear. He shared his despair with me. He had been with Sai Baba for many many years. He had this time his teenage daughter with him in the ashram for the first time.

The mother of X was about to come the same day as W and his daughter was supposed to leave.

That day X and his brother went to Bangalore to meet their mother and were not present at morning darshan. Conny had said to W that we could not expect any interview when X and his brother were not present, as Sai Baba was only interested in the "boys". W was in deep despair, very unhappy and confused about what he had heard from Conny and X and wanted to talk to Sai Baba. He wanted an explanation. This was the last darshan for W and his daughter before going back to Sweden.

Surprisingly Sai Baba called the group for interview this morning. We all sat waiting on the veranda of the mandir (the temple) as is normal when being called for an interview. When Sai Baba came to the veranda to take us into the interview-room, he asked Conny: "Where are the two boys"? (I saw and heard this as I was sitting on the veranda in the first row of the group of women opposite within just a few meters distance to Conny). "In Bangalore to pick up their mother", Conny answered. Sai Baba looked very surprised and asked again and got the same answer. As I remember Sai Baba asked when they would come back and was told "tonight". Sai Baba told all of us to go back from the veranda and said, "I will see you tomorrow", which meant no interview now but the next day.

W went back to Sweden, very confused. The "boys", X 21, and his some years elder brother, arrived in the evening with their mother. She told very kindly but very clearly to the whole group that she came because her son X so wanted and that she had no personal interest in Sai Baba. Next day the brother of X had to go back to Sweden because of studies. We got no interview that day

Next day, two days after our "visit" at the veranda, we were again called for an interview. "The mother" was sitting next to me just in front of the feet of Sai Baba in the interview room. Sai Baba asked her what she wanted. She said that she did not want anything, and that she had come only because of her son X. Sai Baba asked if she did want Sai Baba. She said no; I do not want Sai Baba. He materialised her a necklace. She refused to take it. Sai Baba forced it into her hand. She tried to refuse to take it, but he managed to get it to stay in her hand. Sai Baba tried to talk her into an interest in him, but she was very clear about that she had no personal interest. I was in my inner, astonishing to myself, reflecting about that Sai Baba seemed to be out of control regarding the situation. He looked powerless and in a way uncertain. I never told these my feelings to anyone at that time as I did not know how to deal with them.

Sai Baba talked to the others in the group, and called also to separate interviews in the inner room. X and his mother were called alone. The mother told me afterwards that this talk with Sai Baba meant nothing. "I know my son better than he does", she said. Sai Baba had told her what a good person her son is. She had told Sai Baba that of course she knew, as X had always been a light in their family. She had also given back the necklace Sai Baba had forced into her hand. He not at all impressed her. She also said to me that she noticed that he likes young boys. He is clutching young boys on their bottoms, she said, and added that of course he likes her son X, as he was a very good looking and bright young man. She also said to me that her son X looked like a homosexual with all the "tingle tangle" he had received from Sai Baba that was hanging everywhere on him! (All the "materialised" objects he had been given).

"The mother" stayed for a week. She had a very good time as all the women in the group engaged with her and she also had a good time with her son. She was definitely a very lovely woman. She said she was very happy about her stay. She even mentioned to me that it could be interesting with another interview now when she got accustomed to the ashram. She never though told any direct interest regarding Sai Baba. I never heard her talking about the genuineness or not of the by Sai Baba materialised objects (as was mentioned in an article in a Swedish magazine).

A talk amongst us who had been with Sai Baba since long though started. We found out that many of us had at some situations seen that he took things from the chair or had it in his hand before he "materialised" it. All of us had had the thought that he did so sometimes only to test our faith. We all started to confront that the materialisations were not always genuine. I started to feel that if he faked only some of them, or even one, they all became useless, and I wandered why he did so at all. I before had been thinking that even if he is faking sometimes to test our faith, it was not honest by him to say that it was a materialisation the times it was not. I never though doubted him to have the power of materialising, but I did not like him to not tell the truth, and did not know how to deal with these untruths in my own inner. They disturbed me.

In darshan Sai Baba told X: "Mother doesn’t like, what can I do?" There were no more interviews. The mother went back home. Most of the members of our group, including Conny, also left the ashram after some days for going back home. I together with X was booked at the same flight home a week later. I noticed that X looked more and more "down" every day. Sai Baba gave almost no more attention to him, just some short remarks during darshans. I had still not talked to X about his interviews.

A female friend of mine that since long time lived in Puttaparthi, also noticed that X became more and more unhappy and we talked about it. She was an old friend of Conny and they also talked a lot about the situation before Conny left. From her I now got to know that she did know that Sai Baba had some sexual intimacy with school "boys" and other young men. She got me to observe that some young man (or elder boy) almost every darshan was invited for an interview. Very often the same one many days in a row. She even told me that some young men or elder boys are with him during nights, sleeping in his bed. She also told that she once in an interview had looked in behind the curtain into the inner interview-room, when Sai Baba was alone with a young man, or student, and she saw them lying on the floor together. And she told me that she had heard that Sai Baba used to pay boys money for being sexually intimate with him. She had even herself talked to some young Indian boy who was a "lover" to Sai Baba. .

Now also I got to hear from someone, I don’t remember who, I think it was the same friend mentioned above, that David Bailey and his wife Faye, both whom I had met many times and talked to and knew their devotion and loyalty to Sai Baba, had left because they had got to know about these sexual activity of Sai Baba. I had earlier during this visit in the ashram heard that they had left Sai Baba, which I couldn’t understand, as I knew their many years of complete devotion and engagement in the ashram and about David as a music-teacher for Sai Baba’s students. I also got to hear that two French young men had been murdered on their way from Puttaparthi to Bangalore and that they had experienced or understood about this hidden sexual abuse and were on their way to report home in France.

Still I could not get into my understanding that Sai Baba had some own physical sexual uncontrolled inclination. So many times I had listened to him in interviews telling "Before marriage only friends, after marriage husband and wife", to my own daughter an her "husband to become" as well as others. So much he had talked about discipline of senses and actually inspired me and my whole family, as well as all the people in the community that we lived in for many years, where we all accepted Sai Baba as the outmost good example, absolutely free from any sense or body desires of the kind, a Divine Incarnation, as he told himself to be. I had so deeply accepted that the "intimate touches", I had before heard he did to young men, was to help them not to fall into sexual bindings that would take their attention from their spiritual life and their studies and get lost in a sexuality before being matured for a partner.

As there are no monastery-customs, or deep spiritual teachings in schools or in the homes nowadays where young men and women can get grounded in their inner Divinity before getting into the household-life, I had accepted that Sai Baba did touch some young men’s genitals to get their sexuality calmed down or balanced into a creative life. Especially as young men very often have big problems when their sexual urge takes control over their bodies and minds.

Even though my own son after being kissed on his mouth by Sai Baba in a private interview, never had come to a peaceful understanding about this moment, and could not see or feel anything Divine in this confrontation with Sai Baba, I and even my son himself, had surrendered to that it must be of a Divine purpose that we could not yet understand.

The turning point

As this document has the focus the sexual abuse situation, I have very little told about my divine adventure during my years with Sai Baba. From the very first book in 1986 through all the years to now, July 1999 my life was full of mystical miraculous incidents, dreams and coincidences that I related to Sai Baba. I always though listened to my inner and asked him after, not the opposite, and always felt supported by him to follow my inner. Very often I never asked but in different miraculous ways was supported anyway. I always felt he knew what was going on in my inner and strengthened it. It is an enormous privilege in life to have someone supporting ones inner guiding, and when it was the Avatar it was an outstanding privilege. My inner was never but happy in my contact with Sai Baba. Even in very difficult hardships in life he came in dreams that solved my situations. More than being able to pray for, I lived an adventurous meaningful life full of "heart engaging" co-operational projects with the potential of being part of a change from an "inhuman society to a human society and further to an awakened divine society, where Sai Baba seemed to be the central dominator. I would never dream of turning away from him as the inspiration, guide and absolutely best friend in my life. These experiences I shared mutually with my family-members and with many fellow sisters and brothers who came into my life during all these years.

But, I could now feel that a new process had started within me. The 3rd of July, in the afternoon, X and I took a taxi from Puttaparthi to Bangalore to take our flight back home to Sweden. Already in the taxi X started to tell me. We talked the whole way to Sweden, just slept some short moments.

X told that Sai Baba had lost himself in sexual feelings and with loud passionate breathings mumbling "I’m coming I’m coming. And when Sai Baba after having "ordered" X to do padanamaskar (a tradition of kissing the feet of the master), he took X’s head on his way to rise up from the feet, and pressed his head towards his own genitals holding up his robe (dress) and obviously wanted and tried to force X to take his own (Sai Baba’s) penis into his mouth. There in the very moment X woke up to the absolutely conviction that this was not for X but for Sai Baba himself. X refused completely. Sai Baba got angry and the interview ended.

Even though X was in a state of shock after this interview, he as I understood it somehow wanted an explanation from Sai Baba about what had happened. But there ended the "romance "between Sai Baba and X. He had only the interview together with his mother after this event. Even if X wanted to talk to Sai Baba about this before he left for Sweden and asked for it in many darshans, he never got to. The honesty from this young man was not even for a second doubted in me. I knew immediately that my life with Sai Baba from now on should be very different. I decided to listen to this young man as much as he needed and to take my own shock-reaction later.

After having listened to X for hours during our journey home to Sweden, I invited him to come and stay with me and my son and his family if he felt he needed. So he did for the first week back in Sweden. I invited the other young men I did know in Sweden who had been involved in intimacy with Sai Baba and as well my son in law and my daughter and got them to talk together. And I listened for many hours to X alone as well. These young men had all noticed that Sai Baba in every interview "accidentally happened to" with his hand come near their genitals so that he "happened " to touch.

Here is what I got to hear more than what already is told above. Of course it is how I heard it and understood it.

X had no at all attention from Sai Baba, when he was alone with him in the private interviews, other than towards his genitals. Sai Baba touched, looked, rubbed, oiled and "played". He tried to stimulate X’s penis to erect, but it was not so easy as X felt no natural sexual stimulants or desire regarding Sai Baba who said it was for X’s sexual transformation and urged him to just let go resistance as he, Sai Baba, was God. Even though X felt a resistance all the time he thought he had to overcome it for the sexual transformation to happen. Sometimes X got the thought that Sai Baba looked like a mad person when he laughed when "playing" with X’s penis. But he suppressed such thoughts.

X told that in Dec.-Jan. when he had the many interviews he felt very "Divine empowered" by the first part of the interviews, in the outer room, where he also got a lot of attention. And even though he disliked the private part of the interviews he still felt empowered after the interviews to begin with. But he also got more and more confused about this sexual transformation part.

But the whole situation was so much more than just what actually happened in the outer. X told me during many hours again and again and deeper and deeper, his feelings. Not only the feelings he had in the interviews and in between, but also now when he understood that his feelings of resistance were right and not to overcome to get transformed. He felt he had the duty to inform about the true story to all he knew that were connected to Sai Baba and to the world. At the same time as he knew he should break the light and hope for so many people by telling his experiences. He felt it was a far too big responsibility for a young man seeking God and having trusted in the Divinity of Sai Baba.

At one moment X laughed and compared his experience with a Monte Pyton movie. Next moment he became deeply serious expressing his feelings about the absolute worst thing that can ever happen to a human being; that the one, to whom a young innocent faithful devotee surrender as God, a Divine Incarnation or Divine Teacher, commits a sexual outrage towards the innocently trusting young one.

What touched my heart most when listening was when I saw how X worked with his own inner to overcome his kind of "shame or embarrassment" towards himself of having been so deeply lurked and overpowered that it could happen even though he felt resistance from his own inner truth. I became more than ever aware of how dependent the young ones are on the elder ones. Now X also had found on the Internet similar stories as his own, and even worse. It became so obvious to X that his own inner rejections had been correct from the very beginning and that many young men before him had been victims and exposed their stories. It was obvious to me that it was very painful for X to find out of having been so ignorant about his own inner truth and so much in trust towards someone who was a profound betrayer of chastity.

How should a boy or a young man, or their parents, be able to imagine that Sai Baba, the recognised Founder of the, in schools and Universities, even outside India, so well established and by governments accepted, Education in Human Values program, even recognised by the President of India and UNESCO, a program that proclaims as the foremost duty of any teacher or adult is to be a good example to the young ones, that this founder would sexually molest young men and even boys as young as seven years old. In a lecture Sai Baba held many years ago regarding EHV and youth, which I found in a small booklet, he is quoting somebody’s statement saying that what is most difficult for the teenagers of today is to become good examples when they have none. To teach by being a good example to the young ones was the key-point in this speech, aimed at adults, especially parents and absolutely especially teachers.

Nor X, nor myself and many decent people around the world, could ever imagine that such a situation as now begun to expose it existed. And I am sure even X, could not a slightest fraction of a second at that time imagine that many many of the ones so called experienced "devotees" around Sai Baba, to whom X thought he had the responsibility to inform about what he had come to know, already knew, many since 20-30 years, that so happened to many young men and boys, but accepted it as divine grace!?!? And by that let it happen!?!?

I was myself one of the adults that inspired people to go to Sai Baba and who promoted him as a universal teacher, as I had started the school in Sweden with the EHV-program integrated in the Swedish Curriculum. I had used, in my promotion of the EHV-program, the booklet from the conference in Geneva 1995, where there is the statement about the link to UNESCO and speakers from the United Nations.

I cannot see anyone that has more power than the United Nations and UNESCO to protect and re-establish the dignity of the boys and young men that are or ever were victims, and make sure that this never happens to anyone more, now when it, thanks to the young ones that dared to speak out has started to be spread all over the world.

UNESCO has started by the "withdrawal-message". But the activity of Sai Baba is still going on, supported by thousands of officials within the Sai organisation and other "devotees" by either not knowing or denying it as rumours or accepting it as blessing and grace, or just awaiting an acceptable explanation. Many young ones are surely suffering in their silence, not feeling or knowing that they can speak up and be trusted and supported by elders..

X had been very actively coming to the Sai organisation’s activities in Sweden and was supposed to become a youth co-ordinator for the west-coast area. Most of the members in Sweden knew him, especially as he was the one in Sweden that got most attention from Sai Baba and most private interviews since many many years. X felt now a duty to inform the co-ordinating committee and all members in Sweden about his situation. A meeting with the co-ordinating committee and members was arranged, by the national chairman, Jörgen Mölgaard. X was present and so were Conny Larsson and my son, telling their experiences.

I was no longer a member of the Sai organisation since a couple of years because of other reasons, so I was not allowed to come to this meeting even though X had asked the leaders to let me. After the meeting X and my son told me that the national chairman was smiling scornfully when they told their stories. They said that if only met with such an attitude when approaching an elder person about an experience as this, could bring a young man to suicide. Other members met them seriously and many left immediately the Sai organisation and their faith in and association with Sai Baba. Some had already, after being in contact with X and David Bailey officially cancelled their memberships. Most of the long-time devoted in Sweden have since then given up Sai Baba. The national chairman is though still (in October 2000) the same person, still accepting the young men to have been blessed, not molested.

Conny Larsson

As dedicated as Conny Larsson all the years had secretly "glorified" this private "holy intimacy" that happened between him and Sai Baba in the early 80th, as dedicated he now became in the awakening process. This was a shocking change both to himself as well as to all the ones around the world that were inspired by the enormous devotion to Sai Baba that Conny use to spread through his lectures about his life and Sai Baba’s influence to it

Here something of what I later came to know from and understand about Conny: By listening to X Conny for the first time started to confront his own situation. Even though he also had had an inner resistance when Sai Baba long time ago was intimate with him, he had made it an absolute "holy act" within himself. It was his way to survive the conflict of "God" going sexual with him. Until now, no one would ever believe him if he told that Sai Baba had an inclination for own sexual affection. Conny also thought it had been a special intimacy between Sai Baba and himself. But now when he got in contact with more young men (Conny had started to talk to other young men as well in the ashram, during his last stay in July 99, who he saw got many interviews) who were into this confusing situation, also Conny began to re-examine his past. This became a traumatic, shaking and shocking process.

While still in Puttaparthi summer 99, Conny decided to ask Sai Baba about "his situation with the boys" if he got another interview. (As Sai Baba mostly says "boys", even about the young men, Conny does the same when talking or writing about this situation). Conny also had talked to the other Swedish young man, who besides x and me, also had a private interview at our first group-interview. Sai Baba had touched his genitals, but not more. (He later confirmed this to me). Our next group-interview, when the X’s mother was present, Conny and this young man got a private interview together. Conny and Sai Baba talked about Conny’s project, "House of Mercy" and at the end Sai Baba offered Conny to do padanamaskar (touch or kiss the feet of the master). When Conny raised after the padanamaskar he surprisingly noticed that Sai Baba was holding his hand on the genitals of the "boy". Conny stood up and asked "What about this with the boys". Sai Baba answered "it is only for healing".

Conny woke up more and more to that what he himself had accepted as "healing" many years ago was something totally different. For the first time Conny felt that he himself would be trusted if telling that Sai Baba had a sexual desire. Conny also he felt his duty to support X and other young men to be trusted. He started to ask and research about this sexual activity of Sai Baba, that he had ignored all these years.

He exposed that he himself had had a mutual sexual history with Sai Baba for a period of four years in the early 80th, where Sai Baba involved with his own sexuality. Sai Baba wanted and got sexual satisfaction for himself to be done by Conny at that time. Conny thus knew that Sai Baba himself had a sexual desire and need, but thought up to now that he was the only one who knew and that no one ever would believe him if he told.

Recently before all this also a book about Conny’s life, including his life with Sai Baba was published and very well sold. In this book there was nothing at all mentioned about his sexual affair with Sai Baba. The book was written by a devoted elderly female journalist, who had known Conny for many years and who wanted to let people know about the miracle of the Divine incarnation - Sai Baba. The book was translated to many languages. Conny travelled around in Sweden and in many other countries and gave speeches about his life, about Sai Baba and taught meditation.

He was in Sweden (and still is) running a successful rehabilitation-home for drug-addicts and criminals since many years where meditation is fundamental. (I am myself working partly with a special project at this place).

Many people who knew Conny Larsson since many years back and have been inspired by his deep and enthusiastic devotion to Sai Baba, contacted me and asked how he could hide this story in 15 years and more, and tell so many miraculous stories about Sai Baba and now turn completely around and even tell a story never told and never heard of before.

I could not myself understand the situation with Conny, and I could not grasp the whole situation even though I now had understood that Sai Baba was sexually molesting young men, and even boys from the age of 7,8 years old. Back home from India I contacted David and Fay Bailey and got to hear their stories, later compiled into "the Findings". I learned about more and more similar and worse stories from other young men and their parents from other countries. I talked personally with parents who had a son seriously molested as already mentioned.

I knew personally a retired professional psychiatrist, who had a deep understanding and interest in spiritual matters since he was young. Both he and his wife were familiar with Sai Baba and knew my involvement with the school and Values in the World scenario. They had even attended one of our seminars. I talked a lot with them about what now had been revealed about Sai Baba. It was of very much help to me to meet them about this extreme change of reality within myself, that became the inevitable result by this new knowledge. Together with this psychiatrist I met Conny about his story with Sai Baba. During two days we were listening to Conny and asked a lot of questions.

Again I became a very "intimate" witness of an indescribable process of a man when still young having been overpowered sexually by "God in human form" and just couldn’t, even though the inner was protesting, believe that this was anything but for a good spiritual purpose. Sai Baba told Conny that it was for his sexual transformation and healing. Conny was sexually abused as a child. He was in deep depression and despair when coming to Sai Baba the first time. Sai Baba saved Conny from this depression and got a complete open-hearted devotee in Conny. But Sai Baba also took advantage of this situation for his own sexual gratification.

I again noticed the same with Conny as I had with X, that it was terribly painful to find out of having been so ignorant about his own inner truth and been so much in trust towards someone who was a profound betrayer of chastity.

I will say it is very heartbreaking to meet these processes in the victims. It is also impossible not to act for their sake after having been initiated into their inner waking up processes. As great the faith and surrender, as painful the betrayal. Where can it be more faith and surrender, than towards the One, from ones own inner depth is accepted to be God incarnated in human form? What is more vulnerable to a young man than his sexuality? Only, I think, the fear of displeasing God! Thus it is presumably the deepest of processes to have been the victim of letting God go sexual and then go through the process of "maybe" not God and when coming to the realisation of having been betrayed, come back to oneself and regain all given up power and dignity.

How can it be that one can feel "enlightened" by a person who can handle his innocent devotees in this way???

Heaven and hell

It was Christmas Eve, in the afternoon. I was sitting amongst thousands of people from different countries in the compound in Sai Baba’s ashram Prasanthi Nilayam in Puttaparthi in India. I was in the first row, close to the middle so that I saw all the men in white opposite me. I was dressed in a white sari and had jasmine-flowers in my hair. My guitar was placed besides me, while I together with other people with guitars, drums, violin and other instruments, was awaiting Sai Baba to come out and the Christmas-choir to start the singing and us to play.

It was sunshine and an atmosphere of outmost peace. Some of my family-members were in the choir, some were sitting somewhere else amongst all the people assembled. We were all here, far away from the Swedish Christmas-stress, to spend our Christmas days with the Avatar on planet Earth, together with friends from all over the planet.

Music from a record or tape came streaming out of the loudspeakers. It was Silent night, the famous Christian Christmas song in a most beautiful instrumental version. I closed my eyes and experienced my deep inner peace, and the most deep happiness about to be where I was, both in my inner and outer. A perfect moment. The music became more and more beautiful, it was as I did not want it to stop ever, and when it seemed to stop it started again a key higher only, and became even more beautiful…

I sat there just sinking into my own inner, still with my eyes closed, awaiting Sai Baba to come and give darshan. I felt my inner only being divine love. I felt deeply blissful that Sai Baba had given special attention to my eldest son twice earlier today. I opened my eyes and there just in front of me Sai Baba, was standing, looking into my eyes and smiling his most sweet loving smile. I was in heaven on earth. So often he had given me the little extra attention, almost as a little too much to really seem reality, but which gave me the feeling of being very blessed. I was more than I ever had asked for, given the feeling that I was loved and protected and united with my family in divine love inspired by him.

While me being there in "heaven" on Earth, as far away from even my imagination that anything could be, there were boys and young men being in a cruel chaos in their inner, as a consequence of coming to the one whose feet I kissed this very moment

Many of these boys and young men might be amongst the ones around me just there this Christmas Eve, together with their parents who were in "heaven" with me, a heaven these young ones knew for them was a door to hell. They "saw" our happy faces in heaven and couldn’t share as our adored "Heavenly Father" in Prasanthi Nilayam (The Highest Abode of Peace) had sexually molested them in secrecy. He who said in a lecture "I do not need any secretaries because I do not have any secrets". He who repeatedly says, "My life is my message". He who says that if one student is bad there is one student spoiled, but if one teacher is bad thousands of students are spoiled. He who says himself to be the Avatar of the age, the Avatar of Avatars and the Teacher of Teachers; the Sadguru - the absolute true teacher with no blemishes of selfishness, and so looked upon and worshipped by millions of people all around the world. The one who is respected and officially bowed before by the Indian President and other official authorities. The one that I and many other parents and adults "knew" to be the best friend of humankind. The one that had the first place in our hearts and who we "gave" our children to for guidance and protection.

They, the boys and young men, also most likely wanted to be in "heaven" with their parents, and were maybe also to an extant there, by the influence of them. But deep deep inside there was the opposite that tried hard, sometimes for many many years to align with the parent’s "heaven". Maybe in fear of displeasing the parents about their Avatar. Maybe in fear of losing their social affiliation and trust if true to themselves. Maybe in fear of displeasing Sai Baba.

When the young X, with his innocent eyes looking into mine, expressed that this is the worst that can happen, I somehow understood something about coming into such a "heavenly" community, which the inner so deeply had urged for, and to let the heart, the deep inner, surrender in Faith to the "Father" of this "heavenly" community and to be sexually molested by this same "Father". In that very moment my inner turned away from Sai Baba, never more to seek heaven in or through him. He died in my heart.

My youngest son had been with Sai Baba since he was six. Sai Baba had all the years given him lots of attention and he had been "in heaven" with his heart full of devotion and faith and more than willing to come to interviews. When I told him about the sexual abuses he was between sixteen and seventeen. He first became very embarrassed and couldn’t believe it, and I noticed he worked intense with his inner.

After some time he reminded me about an incident when he was eleven (1993). In one of our interviews he had looked behind the curtain into the inner interview-room when Sai Baba went in alone with one of his student boys. My young son told me afterwards that he saw Sai Baba and the boy kissing each other mouth to mouth and he asked me why. He remembered that he became very puzzled. I had completely forgotten this incident but when he reminded me I remembered, and as well even my reactions and thoughts. My first reaction was to tell him that one should not be naughty and look into the private interviews of others. I remember that he was eager to know why they kissed each other and I said something like "it just looked so but has another meaning". This incident was then completely out of my memory until this reminding moment.

Later when I looked at a photo where my little son was stretching his hands towards Sai Baba I realised how the trust from him to Sai Baba was built up during many years, with full support from me and the whole family. So many years of his life I was sure I could give him nothing better in life than association with Sai Baba. He was a pupil in Gimle School for three years, class 7 to 9. How easily he next time visiting Sai Baba (he and a classmate had the plan to go alone) could have become one of the molested young men.

I was contacted by a Danish young adult, who had been with Sai Baba since many years and also was very involved in the Sai organisation. He had heard about X and wanted to check with me. After I had told he said, "I know it is the truth" and told me the following story. In Puttaparthi in 1991 he was approached by a very confused Italian young man who had many interviews, who told that Sai Baba had him to suck Sai Baba’s penis and told him this was for the young man’s own sexual transformation or kundalini. The Italian young man was told not to tell anyone, but needed to solve his confusion. The Danish young man became so utterly confused and couldn’t at all deal with it within his own sense as Sai Baba was the Divine pure Incarnation to him, and he completely suppressed it until he heard about X.

Who is protecting?

The Sathya Sai organisation is a very male-dominated organisation. Sai Baba himself though in speeches very openly prises the women as naturally loving and righteous inclined beings that are full of forbearance and patience and in general better teachers than men.

Taking into consideration all the Sathya Sai schools based on the Education in Human Values program; all Sai Baba’s speeches about the enormous responsibility of the teachers and adults to teach by themselves being example; all the speeches where Sai Baba prises the women. How he by this seems to be a "protector" of the younger generation and women. And also since the Sai organisation is about reawakening, living and teaching, in a spirit of unselfish service, eternal, universal Human Values (Sathya, Dharma Shanti, Prema Ahimsa ; Truth, Righteous conduct, Peace, Love, Non-violence), in our lives and in society, through ourselves as living and inspiring examples, Sai Baba seems to be a potential protector of all humanity. He tells about himself to have incarnated for the sake of the Sanathana Dharma, described by him as; "The ancient wisdom, the eternal path. When we are able to bring and put together the ideas of everyone, the moral laws supported by all religions and the truth that is in all religions, we will have a picture of sanathana dharma".

My elder son who "only" was kissed became more and more aware of that the one he from his heart depth loved and trusted as a genuine guru and Divine master, was going sexual so that he over-stepped the integrity and even seriously molested young men as himself and even boys. I listened to him answering an international well-known healer who asked about his feelings about being betrayed by a master.

I never until that moment understood how deeply Sai Baba is penetrating himself into these young ones, to their natural need of experienced guiding in life and longing for nutrition to their spiritual development, to come to a point where he can use them sexually. Even after my son was kissed and protested from his inner, he continued to have the faith in Sai Baba as the Divine incarnation and persuaded himself that Sai Baba could not have done anything that was not for healing purposes. What a painful awakening process that starts in their inner when they understand that their own inner voice protesting what Sai Baba was doing, was the truth far beyond the "master’s" self proclaimed "unselfishness and pure divine healing".

My youngest son when only twelve, at a visit to Sai Baba had two interviews, one with me and the group and another with the group including his elder sister after I left. At both those interviews there was an American young man also present. He got very much attention from Sai Baba, and many many other interviews. Conny mentioned to me that he was a homosexual and that he had sexually molested boys in the ashram so that he was not allowed to stay in the hostels inside the ashram.

Some years later this young man wrote to Conny and wanted my youngest son’s address. He wrote that they had done some "Shiva lingam ceremony" together. I couldn’t believe that they had met, as my son never had spoken about this. When I asked my son he first did not remember at all. Even when I told about the letter to Conny he first did not, but when I continued to ask he remembered little by little. Nothing serious seemed to have happened though.

The same day as the last interview my son had been in the market outside the ashram just shortly buying something and met this young man and they talked as they had been to the same interview. The young man wanted to see the lingamstone that Sai Baba had blessed for my son in the interview. He asked my son to come to his room where he wanted to show him something. There the young man told my son about that the lingamstone (a stone in the form of an egg) was a symbol of the sexual organ of Shiva and explained so by pointing to his own sexual organ. Nothing more seemed to have happened. I met this young man in 1996, and asked him to tell me exactly what happened, without telling what my son had told, to see if their stories were the same. He told the same as my son had remembered

When I first heard about that this young homosexual man, who got many interviews, was also a paedophile, I thought Sai Baba was helping him out of his " paedophile sickness". Now I do understand there was a complete other reason for all those interviews. Sai Baba instead of helping him most likely nurtured his paedophile tendencies.

I have since then heard about and read affidavits about so many cases of sexual molesting from Sai Baba and about Sai Baba’s active enforced homosexual practices with his young students. Young boys and young men are not coming to a safe place going either to the ashram or to study at Sai Baba’s colleges or universities. Mostly their parents, I am sure, cannot imagine this situation to exist.

Heroes or zeroes?

The Education in Human values program seemed to me to be the most perfect now existing tool to manifest what is said in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. And it attracted UNESCO until the sexual abuse reports reached them.

Sai Baba is maybe the greatest and most far-reaching pleader of human values in the world today. And a pleader of himself as the Hero of heroes and seems to at the same time be the most subtle and extensive sexual-molesting male adult towards young men and boys. Those (including him) who can align this activity to a human values mission are not living in the same realm of human values as I am. When I scrutinise within my own realm of human values, no matter "who" is living a sexual life that is causing to others experiences of having been sexually molested, may it be because of karma or not, it comes under the heading of "inhuman values".

Within the realms of Mythology, the realms of Gods and Goddesses, we often are confronted with, to our human references, inhuman living even if accepted in the realms of Divine drama. Many might look at the realm of Sai Baba as a for all humanity beneficial "Divine drama on Earth", which I myself did, though out of complete other reasons, up to the moment where I was awakened about the sexually molested victims. There is no place in "my divine mission on earth" for any sexual abuse to anyone. To me the potential heart to heart mutually voluntarily agreed upon sexuality between human beings is divine, a gift of Grace. And as Grace itself is not forcing itself upon us but is there when we open our hearts, so is divine sexuality there when we open our hearts. Ii is never ever enforced.

I can understand how young men or boys out of their own control suddenly can find themselves in the painful situation of being sexually overpowered by their "master", by themselves, their parents or others by the young ones revered elders, paying unlimited reverence to this "master", who obviously is not in control of his own sexual inclination in a way that is possible to align with a living of human values that is acceptable in our civilised society. Even though he is gaining acceptance in society through "his" Education in Human Values program in his by Indian government recognised educational institutions, including an accredited University, where he actually has (or had) the role of the Principal. And even though he advocates himself to be a "sad guru" (the true teacher that removes ignorance and leads the seeker towards liberation) and to be the very best example of dharma (truth and unselfish love in action) on planet Earth today.

When inner divine bliss followed by experiences of miracles is born in the life of a human being, by someone or something (may it be Sai Baba or anyone or anything else) activating the latent "inner impulse of no reservations that such a life is possible, the power of being the cause of such an "awakened " life is often (maybe mostly) given to the outer activator of the impulse rather than to our inner impulse that had the power of uniting with the realm of divine bliss and a miraculous life. Of course it is humble and worthy of imitation to pay reverence towards any source that was a "reminder" of our inner power of opening for the Grace of Divinity to operate in our lives, but that does not mean that we have to revere any action whatsoever that is coming from such a source, or any action not in tune with hour hearts. Sai Baba has himself said that there is a sign of peacefulness in our hearts when we are following our inner truth and thus doing the right things.

I cannot understand that Sai Baba is ever officially offering the image of himself to be looked upon as a perfect living example of human values in society, in any school or university in any country, well knowing that he is "privately" approaching young males sexually so that they experience being sexually abused or molested. May he himself call it "healing, sexual transformation, divine touches, awakening of the kundalini" or whatever. As this privacy is also being held in secret as much as possible, by him never officially talking about that part of his life, by telling the young males not to tell anyone and by having "loyal" people around him, it is deemed to explode as a mine at any moment within any official project or program wearing his name. Not being correctly informed about this situation creates a lot of paradoxical situations and problems for the ones seriously going into society with projects based on the EHV program involving children, youth, parents, teachers, community- and state-officials, politicians as well as own responsibility for a chosen program.

And what about those adults who knew about this for up to 30 years. Why did not anyone inform me before I initiated a public school, that such a "mine" of paradoxical nature existed within the overall concepts related to Sri Sathya Sai Baba?

What about them who get to know it today?

All organisations that have extensive responsibilities for social protection and survival circumstances, physical and psychical, of human individuals on national levels, as well as internationally for humankind, all over the world, are principally male-dominated, often totally.

Who can I as a woman and a mother, and as well my female sisters all over the world, appeal to for getting support and protection in our urges to offer genuine loving upbringing and protection to all our children. We do need genuine good males worthy of imitation to our sons?

Human beings in thousand and thousands and thousands, probably millions, go on pilgrimages to Sai Baba from all different countries around the world because he is promising what every human being in their depths are longing for

The need of coming together around qualities as is the aim of UNESCO and United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, which are the qualities Sai Baba is promising is his mission, and even more, is so strong that there are adults and elderly people around Sai Baba that offers the natural chastity of boys and young men to get the possibility to continue to "feel" that they are the chosen to be together with God in human form on Earth. There are most likely also those who consent out of fear for their lives or fear of losing their general respect in society.

Besides saving and rehabilitating victims, there is a need to influence adults not to accept Sai Baba to sexually molest or abuse any child or young man ever more. The young males need internationally oriented "heroes" in dealing with this matter.

Therefor I cannot see any organisation having more power to be the active fundamental basic force in protecting and healing this outstanding unbelievable situation than the Unite Nations Organisation. The first very important "heroic" step is already taken by the resignation of UNESCO from the conference in Puttaparthi.

There are those who wrote the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, and a lot of people whom officially are behind this convention. As a woman and a mother and today even a grandmother I appeal to all these people to clearly get the Sai Baba situation into the open so that no more young boys and men need to become victims, and so that the ones that already were can regain a trust that there are adults not closing their ears and eyes when something seems too unbelievable to their reality. They could become respectfully recovered by seeing serious action being taken. I think there is a choice for every matured man if to be looked upon as rather "zeroes" or rather "heroes" in the eyes of the younger generation. "Heroes" are these days to be found in movies, but they are potentially living in every human being. For the young man there is something very important to find them in matured men as inspiring examples worthy of imitations in their own lives.

All written here is part of my contribution to achieve what I believe is naturally fundamental in every heart of every soul living in a human body on planet Earth, i.e. what is written in United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. I have wondered why this Convention ever needed to be written. It tells clearly that there are elders who know about their responsibilities for the young ones, and that there is a lot lot to do that must be done just now in this very moment, to protect our young ones - our next generation.

Who cares? Who dares?

Thanks to all my brothers and sisters, who became ex-followers to Sai Baba when confronted with the stories of the molested young ones, for all the courage and energy put into action for the exposé of this molesting situation and for the protection of the young ones. Thanks to all the young men and boys that have spoken and written their affidavits, and thanks to all parents that do the same, and thanks to all everywhere that listen and act. Thanks to UNESCO for the withdrawal. Thanks for all exposé and healing of this "nature-catastrophe"-like situation.

For me personally it has always been a "paradise" of retreat and development of my inner to stay as a guest in Sai Baba’s ashram. My personal contact with Sai Baba, inner as well as outer, has been soothing, inspiring and developing to my deepest soul-level. I always felt I was blessed by outmost grace to be given the opportunity to be a guest in his ashram and having him as my dearest friend. And my experience of the Education in Human Values (EHV) program has been more than fantastic.

I withdraw my membership in the Sai organisation already in autumn 1997 because of a situation of too much involvement and enforced control, from Sai organisation officers, into the Gimle trust and the Gimle School as well as my private life.

The rule within the Sai organisation to have "adopted schools", as I have described was the situation with Gimle School, was changed. There was done an, non-agreed upon from our side, action plan from the ESSE institute (being a part of the Sai organisation) to take over the full control. I never managed to make understood to the ESSE chairman and his seniors, that it was the autonomous legal body of the Gimle Trust having the legal permission from the Swedish school-authorities and by that responsible of not having any non-democratic control from another organisation. Also the idea of changing the name to, or adding the name Swedish Sathya Sai School was part of that action plan. We came to experience a situation of an "angry" officer from another country, supported by a huge international organisation, having no sensitive reality about Swedish school customs and direct contact with groups of children, enforcing himself into our Swedish school which became too turbulent and time-consuming for us.

In January 1998 at a visit to Sai Baba, I was in two interviews. In the first Sai Baba out of himself told me and in the next confirmed to stay out of the Sai organisation. I asked about the name of the Gimle School and he clearly said "no change of the name".

Privately I was accused, by the same officer from ESSE institute as well as other officers from the international Sai organisation, that I as a representative of the Sai organisation and thus Sai Baba was not demonstrating a good example to the youth. I had in a lecture I held at a youth conference about the "dharma of women" (righteous conduct of women) out from the teachings of Sai Baba, mentioned that I in the past was twice divorced, in stressing my message that one needs not to have been living a "perfect" life in the past to get the grace of coming to a complete new start in life.

One should not talk about oneself in lectures about Human Values within the EHV-program and divorces were no good example to the young ones, I was told. Interesting is that the person most critical was divorced, but remarried.

Sai Baba in an interview when I asked him about this critic said; "people don’t understand, little by little they will understand". He also twice said to me "No mistakes from your side". Again he gave that little extra that made me feel protected and cared for by him.

Interesting also is that many of these criticising officers were obviously the ones already at that time secretly since long knowing about the molesting activity by Sai Baba.

My deep interest in Philosophy, my university studies in this subject combined with my experience of having studied and actively used the EHV program on levels from children and youth to adults of all ages, have given me an enormous understanding of the needs and deep urges in human beings and the capacity to associate with my fellow brothers and sisters in a way that contribute to the genuine qualities of their lives and gives my own life a deep meaning. The engaged involvement with the Gimle School project, that in the middle of a lot of turbulence planted lots of beautiful seeds that still are blossoming, could be an outmost merit to refer to in my and others further involvement in society. In the inner so it is of course, but how to explain why the Gimle School and our so engaged involvement with the EHV program and its founder Sai Baba suddenly is a dismerit of an unbelievable magnitude.

A little girl 9 years old, who was a pupil in the Gimle School, was with her family in the group visiting Sai Baba in summer 99. Her family was sai-devotees since many years and had several times visited Sai Baba. Her mother was an EHV teacher and for a period she also had been the headmistress of the Gimle School. The little girl had heard about that something had happened to the young man X, whom she liked very much. Her mother had to explain to her in the best way she could.

One day shortly thereafter the little girl was playing with a friend who knew about her visit to India and Sai Baba. The little girl’s mother told me that she happened to hear them talking about if there really existed some real good people that never did something bad. Suddenly the little friend says "but Sai Baba he is good he is never doing anything bad". The little girl after a pause of silence said slowly, "yes, he is doing something which is bad which I cannot tell you". The friend very surprised said "Oh" and after a new pause of silence said "Please tell me, I will not tell it to anyone". The little girl said in a somewhat mood of resignation "OK", and told that Sai Baba had done something to the genitals of X and tried to force X to do something with his own genitals. There was again a period of silence. Then the friend said "how lucky that Sai Baba did not do so to you", where after the little "girl" very alert and clearly told, "no, he is only doing it with boys". Their playing continued as nothing had happened.

The little girl’s mother told me that she did not know if she should interrupt, but it was over before she got the time to decide. The "sai-family" immediately when understanding the situation became "ex-sai-family", but how to deal with such sudden changes towards someone that the children have been taught for years being a foremost outstanding good example of "divine unselfish love in human form", a very best friend of children and mankind. We became very aware of the difficult situation we were in regarding not only our own children but also all the pupils and parents in the Gimle School.

Today it is internationally widespread, through newspapers, internet and by passing from mouth to mouth, about that cases of Sai Baba’s sexual abuse of young men and boys have happened and are most likely continuously happening as many "responsible" elder people are neglecting, denying, hiding, and by that supporting this activity.

It is also widespread that Sai Baba is cheating miracles to be genuine. I have seen with my own eyes. The same is for many visitors I personally know. I have also seen videos in slow motion where it is clearly seen how miracles are not genuine, but faked.

But even so, there are many people from all over the world that benefit in their lives by their contact with Sai Baba and his teachings, mostly not knowing about his "secret" life and the false materialisations.

I am deeply grateful to have been informed about the "secret" side of Sai Baba so that I am not anymore unwillingly supporting that "secret" side. As Sai Baba himself always advocate that his life is his message, it is important that his full life is exposed to all visitors or potential visitors so that they can chose before standing before a shocking fact.

There are many of the still devoted that deem the ones of leaving Sai Baba as being betrayers. When I understood that I had no choice but to leave my co-operation with him, if I should follow the same inner that took me to him, I asked my self in my depth if I betrayed him. Instantly from my inner I got the very clear message that Sai Baba had left the co-operation by involving in a sexual activity that was not possible to unite with my own endeavours in life and society and never was. Thus it so was before I involved in projects within the EHV-mission wearing his name. This name which I saw as the security of survival of the Gimle School, I now saw made the school predestined doomed to dye already from the very start.

Is it though possible to get through and enjoy life after a shocking awakening as here is described? Yes indeed. I am deeply grateful and happy to experience that there is a divine life even after Sai Baba. Grace is always our "friend" and does not need Sai Baba to reach us. I do not think I have ever been happier with my life than I am today. The miraculous life, the divine adventure is just continuing. And so it is for my close sisters and brothers who "gave their lives" for the Human Values to be the fundament of the Gimle school, and who gave up all association with Sai Baba immediately when the molesting situation became obvious. We are all as much as before, in different ways in our lives involved for the good qualities to grow within our fellow-beings society and ourselves. I indeed hope and pray that all the victims of Sai Baba can also get through to a life they, and many of their families, came to Sai Baba to find and live.

Grace Grace Grace Grace

Wants us coming home

To where we belong

Whispering within

Our true cosmic song

Sweden October 2000


Britt-Marie Andén e-mail: